The Loser's Guide to Life

    Dear diary,
11:34 AM  1/25/13 

 Last night I watched Kick Ass, and wow. I really enjoyed that movie. Plus, it has two of my top celebrity crushes in it, so that was hot. I watched another movie before it, but I can't even remember what that one was called.
     I washed my fish bowls this morning. They are so clean and shiny and transparent now.
     I also took a shower this morning, and as I was putting lotion on afterwards, I spilled a bottle of self tanner. Back in eighth grade, a friend and I bought a lot of tanning supplies. It was almost summer and yeah. Things didn't go so well, and we wound up being very orange for a good two weeks. So I've had all this stuff laying around, and I was like "Hey, I'll throw a little bit of tanning lotion in with my normal lotion". The stuff was not coming out though, so I unscrewed the lid and proceeded to shake half of the bottle out onto my hands. It's the middle of winter, so I decided it wouldn't really matter if I was particularly orangey, so I rubbed it all over my legs and arms. I'm expecting to look like an oompa loompa in about three-ish hours. A note about self tanning lotions and gels: it's just not worth it.