I’ve hit that point of summer/'existing as a teenager' where I just don’t want to do anything with my life.. Maybe that’s not the right way to phrase it. I have a desire to be productive, but I also do not care enough to actually do anything more than watch YouTube videos. You guys know what I’m talking about? On another note, cold leftover pizza for breakfast will always be the best thing. 
     My internet is down, so writing this post offline is how I’m choosing to spend my current moments. Writing Dear Diary posts usually helps me subconsciously reconcile whatever problems I have going on, and I have a feeling that what I’m dealing with is more than me just feeling lazy. However, my lack of attention due to the delicious cold pizza I have is really limiting my ability to actually write right now. Sorry that I don’t really post anything besides Dear Diary posts anymore. The only real reason behind that is that I basically don’t have a clue how to use my laptop. There. I’ve admitted it to myself. I do not know how to properly use my MacBooks. Now that I’ve transgressed to this level of acceptance, maybe I’ll schedule some time into my life to watch some tutorials or something. No, what I need is one of those Handbook for Dummies kind of books with lots of diagrams and pictures. Will I remind myself to reserve one of those from the library when the internet is back on?? Another note to self: find your frickin tarot cards. Maybe instead of writing this post I should be writing a to-do list and not boring you with my lethargic thought process. But REALLY! I got to use my tarot cards once and now they’ve disappeared. I had reserved The Handbook to Tarot Cards for Dummies so that I could have more insight on them.., but now they are lost. Who knows. (Honest Elaina: They’re probably under my bed with at least 4 other things that I think are missing.)
     **sigh** There are a lot of more pressing problems that I can think to talk about, but I don’t know how to say them out loud yet. For the mean time, since my internet shows no signs of recovery and since writing this post has just made me get all reflective and sad, I’m going to clean under my bed and see if I can find any treasures. 

  **walks away from post for four days**

      This is just proof of how lazy I've become.
      Not entirely sure what happened. I didn't find my tarot cards, the wi-fi came back on, and I found something else to do. 
      Within the last four days, I ate a lot of chicken nuggets, hung out with someone I've never hung out with before, attended my last grad party (hollaaa), and came to the realization that summer is going to be over so so quickly. ..I keep thinking that the end of summer, -that saying goodbye to my best friends, isn't going to be super rough... but it has to be, right? In my head, it feels like things will be okay because I'll be making new friends right as my old ones are leaving. I assume this will serve as a good distraction.. but it's not going to be easy, right? Ugh. Wake me up when September ends.
    Sorry this post has been so gloomy. I'm slightly stressed out today because my little cousins are at my house and I don't do well with children. Also, I spent about ten minutes sitting in front of a calendar this morning and now I have realized just how soon it is until college starts (50 days) and people leave (52 days). The good news is that a lot of fun things will be happening within those next 50 days and I am prepared to make the most of them while I can.

a living, bioluminescent pet


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