DEAR DIARY

     I have decided to rob a bank.
     This is, as I see it, the only way I will be able to afford art school tuition.
      - If I pull it off, HORRAH.
      - If I don't, I will simply refer to it as a delve into performance art.

      This is how I am reacting to receiving scholarship letters in the mail. It's a roller coaster of emotions. Phase one: see the envelope. Phase two: read the good news. Phase three: look up how much tuition actually is. Phase four: repress all thoughts of college. (Note to self: watch Amélie again and reevaluate the carefree barista lifestyle)

       In other news, IT'S WINTER BREAK. The four year old that I am deep down inside is very excited about this, yet for the most part, the news isn't really exciting at all. I'm mostly glad to sleep in for the next few days, but I still have a lot of school work to do, and I just haven't really been in the best of moods lately, so this once glorious pinnacle moment of my childhood now just feels like a short breath of fresh air. December has been rough. I'm hoping that winter break will give me time to either (1) process my emotions or (2) forget about them entirely. My family is going on vacation in a couple of days, and while I am not excited to be stuck in close-quarters with my siblings for a week, I am being optimistic in the hopes that it will serve as a good distraction.

     Today is Saturday, and though I have spent absolutely all of the day in bed, I don't really mind it. It's been nice spending the day alone. Tonight, I'm going to clean my room, work on some art, and watch The Double. I'm rather excited. OH and I'm going to make a delicious salad. And some tea. Sounds perfect.
      For some reason this just made me think of yesterday at school when this boy (whom I kind of definitely avoid) handed me a mix CD. He passed out a bunch to people he's friends with, but I haven't had the chance to listen to it yet... **rummages through backpack** Jesus Christ, there are 21 songs on it. Hahah, the first lyrics are "loving you, it runs so deep". I wonder if all of the CDs he passed out are the same.. probably. This CD is actually kind of cute. BUT MY HEART IS TOO SAD FOR THIS. Ugh. **logs off computer** **logs out of life**


    My overall thought process for December keeps switching back and forth between "time is a gift" (as in, do whatever the hell you want because who knows how long we've got) and "GET OVER IT" (which is pretty self-explanatory). Everything has been very contradictory lately, and there's been a lot of bad news this month, but I was sort of trying to avoid touching on those topics in this post, so I think this is where I'll say adieu.

    I hope you're having a much better month than I am! Tomorrow's the winter solstice; that's kind of fun. Leave me a comment and let me know what exciting things you'll be doing with your holiday season.

Here's to hoping it only goes up from here!