I hope you feel better soon, friend!
(If you get in trouble for any of these, you can blame it on me. I'll send you bail.)
1. Cry it out.
2. Drop something very fragile and/or made of glass off a balcony/deck/roof.
3. Blast some upbeat music and pretend that you're the star of your very own a music video. (For extra fun: try this in a public setting)
4. Set something on fire.
5. Go ice skating.
6. Give someone a makeover.
7. Grab some empty cardboard boxes and wrap them up to look like birthday presents. Walk into any Holiday Inn lobby and say that you're there for the pool party. Enjoy the hot tub for awhile. Pretend that you are an octopus.
8. Visit the kitten/puppy room at your local Humane Society.
9. Fill a friend's car with balloons.
10. Ask someone cute on a date.
11. Find some friends and go bowling with the bumpers on. Whoever has the lowest score at the end wins.
12. Bake a really gratuitous cake. Melty chocolate chips, funfetti batter, fudge-y insides.. THE WORKS.
13. Go for a walk and leave a trail of glitter/sparkles wherever you go.
14. Buy a bunch of glow sticks and have a dance party in the dark.
15. Make voodoo dolls of all your enemies.
16. Buy a bubble gun.
17. Have a contest with a friend to see who can be the most ridiculous in a library (ex. slurping a bowl of soup in the historical fiction section, knocking over a rack of movies). First person to be asked to leave loses.
18. Start a food fight.
19. Test drive a new car.
20. Download the entire Kidz Bop discography onto your friends iTunes library.
21. Buy a gecko.
22. Have a dance party at one of those CD sampler things in Target.
23. Try on old wedding/prom dresses at a thrift store.
24. Go to a circus.
25. Join the circus.
26. Host a cookie decorating party.
27. Carve portraits of your family members into pumpkins.
28. Take your pet on a date.
29. Cover your home in paper snowflakes.
30. Roll down a hill until you can't remember why you needed to roll down a hill.
31. Buy your coworkers a box of donuts and collect their smiles in a jar.
32. Have a helium-induced karaoke party with some friends.
33. Have a glitter fight. (Much like a food fight.. but with handfuls of glitter or sequins or anything sparkly.)
34. Build a leaf pile on your car and then drive away slowly. Watch the leaves fly away & pretend they are your troubles flying off the roof.
35. Write a haiku for each of your friends about how great they are.
36. Ride a carousel.
37. Go to a public place and pretend that you're a ghost. Anytime someone makes eye contact with you, say "...... you can SeE ME?" Run into people and act super surprised when you don't pass right through them.
38. Pop a bunch of balloons. For added effect: draw faces or write key words on them.
39. Hold a scavenger hunt at Salvation Army. (Must find: the ugliest sweater, a shoe with no pair, a brand new VHS, etc..)
40. Ride a roller coaster.
41. Go to five different fast food places and pick up your favorite menu item from each. Build a feast. (This one is best if you share it with friends.)
42. Finger paint.
43. Find a trampoline and dump out a couple bags of flour on it before bouncing.
44. Leave random objects laying around at the library. Put a handful of grapes on some shelves, scatter some socks down an aisle of books, etc. Watch and savor people's reactions as they stumble upon your misplaced gifts.
45. Give yourself a makeover using all the fun makeup you never use.
46. Buy yourself some flowers.
47. Clean up your room. Get rid of old clothes. Sort through the folders on your computer. Throwing things away always helps.
48. Build sculptures of your enemies out of candy, and then eat them. I call it "constructive confectionery cannibalism".
49. Draw happy faces on all of the bananas at Walmart.
50. Moonwalk away from all your problems.
Voila! You must be cured for sure by now. I know, I know. Thank you, Doctor Smith.