Dear Diary

Dear Diary

4/1/14  3:07 PM

     Online school is hard because there's no one around to force you into accomplishing things. I've been avoiding the same math assignments for a week, and I keep trying to think about this whole thing where I never accomplish anything in a positive light, but I'm not sure that that's the best way to go about it. I'll say, "Oh, it's okay. I'm really only skipping math. I'm sort of ahead right now in everything else." It's okay if I just finish pre-calc with like a 27% or something, right? Hold up.... **checks to see what the actual percentage would be if I never turned anything in ever again** 35.6%.

     I can hear Audrey and her friends coming home from school, and the anger is growing inside me. They are very loud and annoying. This is me: "TOO BAD SO SAD, AUDREY. I AM WORKING." Audrey: "You guys wanna go to the park?" I really hope they actually go to the park. They bring too much stress into my life.

     (They left.)
     Other things that I can't seem to figure out: what to do with my hair, what to wear to prom, if I want to go to prom, life in general....
      At one point I was very excited to go to prom. I think it's because in all the little visual pictures in my head it was just me hanging out with my girl friends in pretty dresses, but I've come to realize that prom actually involves dancing and hanging out in a really hot room, and I think I would rather just eat an entire ice cream cake by myself probably. Also, half of my prom ensemble came yesterday... yeah. It's a long black skirt and I was going to buy a black top half too, but now I'm thinking that that might be too much black. Perhaps white??? Then this is where my hair factors in. I was really set on dyeing my hair back to my natural brown, but it would definitely be too dark if I have an all black prom ensemble..., but I'm also kind of sick of the red too. This is where my brain screams "GREEN", but I don't know how I'd go from red to a greenish teal & my dad would probably shoot me.
     I should probably just invest in some more red dye soon. I need to have it done before my birthday party. At least I've talked myself down from chopping off all my hair... (I'm still toying with the idea of bangs though).
   
      I feel like most of this post has just been me complaining, so I'm going to take a minute to reflect on some good things:

• no boy drama in my life rn
• I'm going to make really yummy food for dinner
• birthday is coming up (I'm not certain if this is a good thing)
• my cat is pretty cute
• my cold has downgraded from "debilitating" to "annoying"

     I was going to go for a walk today. I bought cookies for my friend, and I was set on delivering them. I even put on a fresh outfit and did something with my hair, but    then    I     went   outside. IT'S FREEZING. It even snowed for a little while today. **addresses the sky** "I thought we were over this, you nasty nasty one." Hopefully I can get some adult to drive me over there sometime later today. Other life dilemmas: not having a driver's license. I really have no desire to drive and the idea of actually driving places by myself terrifies me, but it's starting to get a bit inconvenient. I feel like I'm doing a really bad job at growing up lately.

       I just spent 15 minutes going through my tumblr dashboard, so this is where I try and wrap things up and promise myself I'll be productive. 

      If you are reading this, please give me hair advice. Please tell me I'll have fun at prom. Remind me that stealing your food isn't a good enough reason to murder small children.